Not the Weight Loss Story You Expect
TW: MH. This story has discussion around weight, eating difficulties and death. We invite our community members to read our Unsinkable story if it’s the right time for them. If you need support, please visit NEDIC or NEDA.
My baby sister died when I was 5 years old. My parents were, needless to say, absolutely distraught. To no fault of anyone, my home environment became one big broken heart. Loss, grief, depression, fear, and pain became the water within which i swam as a child. It was all too much too much to process. My 5-year-old brain had no way of conceptualizing, let alone coping with, such severe trauma. Because I literally could not tolerate a thought or feeling related to reality, I checked out. My brain jumped in. My survival mechanisms were: denial, avoidance, distraction, and dissociation.
I was “fine.”
It “was what it was” and “feeling it wouldn’t change anything anyway.”
I “wanted to be left alone.”
Until I was 18 years old, I was “too strong” to feel. I needed to stay numb. Without access to drugs & alcohol, etc. to bring the sweet comfort of numbness, and to no awareness of my own… food, eating, and obesity kept me feeling safe. As long as I could shove it all down with food, I didn’t have to feel it. Phew. Following an entire childhood of using food like a drug, I became 300+ pounds by 17 years old. Then, after countless moments of not fitting into the world (airplanes, seatbelts, restaurant booths, & roller coasters), I decided to finally begin my weight loss journey.
In order for me to “hit my goal,” I had to pay attention. I had to actually be present. Here. With me. I had to feel. I had to wake up. I had to come back. I had to reconnect my mind to my body. My weight loss was the journey through which I came back inside my body. My weight loss will forever be the reason I now live in one piece.
I understand that dieting and weight loss *typically* result in disordered eating and eating disorders. I understand the harmful impact of diet culture and the toxicity of fat-phobia in our society. For me, my weight loss brought me home to myself.
Lisa Schlosberg combines her expertise as a Social Worker (MSW), Certified Personal Trainer, Integrative Nutrition Holistic Health Coach, Registered Yoga Teacher, and Public Speaker to help emotional eaters and chronic dieters around the world achieve mind-body-soul health and happiness. Exploring a menu of holistic healing techniques helped Lisa understand how her own lifelong morbid obesity was a physical symptom of psychological stress, unexpressed emotion, and unprocessed trauma. Having successfully lost and maintained 150 pounds, Lisa’s mission is now to help men, women, and children overcome similar struggles by supporting them through the process of healing so they can live a life they love in the healthy body they were meant to have. She is passionate about helping her clients understand their individual relationships to food, eating, and weight management so they can give up dieting and self-loathing forever.
Feeling inspired? You can connect with Lisa here:
Unsinkable Storytelling Author: Lisa Schlosberg